Early in my managerial career, I was fortunate to be introduced to the classic paper by J. Gabbaro and J. Kotter, “Managing Your Boss.” This insightful work has been instrumental in shaping the way I build relationships with my managers, as it has for many others.
It all started with a brief email from my boss. The email contained no text, just a simple subject line: “Good read,” with the article attached. Although we never discussed the paper, it immediately helped me put a conscious effort into building an effective communication with him.
The article emphasizes the importance of proactive and consistent upward management to achieve the best outcomes for yourself, your boss, and the company. It provides sound examples of how companies have lost profits and managers have hindered their careers due to the lack of a strong working relationship with their superiors. One of the key arguments is the mutual dependency between a manager and their boss: while the boss relies on their subordinate to achieve business goals predictably, the manager depends on the boss for access to a wider network, critical resources, and prioritization.
Given this interdependence, the paper suggests three steps to build an effective relationship with your boss (in my own words):
- Understand your boss and their working style.
- Understand yourself and your needs.
- Develop and maintain a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
These steps might sound simple; however, putting them into practice can be challenging. For example, I didn’t know where to start or what was the right thing to say.
One day my manager and I were discussing a task for my team, and he asked me about its success criteria. The success criteria for the task were straightforward, but my manager requested reviewing them in the broader context of the yearly goals. This prompted me to ask about the expectations of this task, as well as the expectations of me as a leader. Bingo!
Understanding the expectations of me helped me adjust better to the new role. It reduced a level of ambiguity. It also contributed to building open two-way communication with my manager. Now when I start a new role, I always ask at least these two questions: “What are your expectations of me in this role in the nearest 3-6 months?” and “What’s your preferred way of communication?”
Expectation setting was the first step for me. It can be a good start for you, too. Asking directly and politely is the best way to go. For example, you can ask, “What are your expectations of me in this role?” or “What performance goals should I set?” or “When do you expect this task to be completed? Let’s define what a done task should include.”
I truly believe these ideas are relevant not only to the manager-boss relationship but for anyone in the workplace. If you give this a try, let me know! I’d be excited to hear from you about whether this was helpful.
